10 Emotional Needs for the Soul to Shine

Food for the Soul

By understanding our emotional body, we soften our resistance to healing and transformation. When we embrace personal change, we are on a path to exploring how to reprogram a subconscious mind and work with our shadows. This makes our relationship with ourselves healthier as we unveil and list our emotional needs. It also helps us identify shadow work questions for deeper reflection.

It may be a good time to start a shadow work journal for personal transformation and self-help. As you read this article you can write a list of emotions that resonate as you read on.

Many adults continue to seek specific primary emotional needs that may not have been met as children. These unmet needs end up being shoved into an emotional suitcase, then stored as deep as possible into your subconscious memory and become unstable emotional foundations for a pile of emotional baggage ready to fire up a trigger whenever a vibration resonates. Limiting beliefs and unmet needs can blow your world apart.

We don’t always recognize what we or others are searching for. The ability to meet our shadow, the parts we have tried to hide or deny, is a life skill that is not given the attention it deserves in education or parenting.

How to develop Emotional intelligence is a relatively new topic. Childhood foundations have been known as the basis of human behavioral development within each individual.

As a species, we are now making headway in understanding what the primary needs of the developing human emotional body are. This knowledge is used to produce healthy foundations for emotional stability for our children.

The 10 emotional needs listed here can provide us with a guideline to reflect upon. The best part of our emotional evolution is that we are finding pathways into our emotional body to repair our unstable emotional footings.

10 Good Parent and Partner Messages.

1. I Am Glad You Are Here.

This is an indication that the speaker is happy or relieved that the listener is present, and their companionship is important.

If this sentiment is not available as a child, it can result in feelings of abandonment. We may feel alone or deserted, and a secure attachment may not be experienced.

5 Reasons Why it is Important for a Child to Feel a Secure Attachment:

• Foundation for Trust: Secure attachment forms the bedrock of trust in relationships. When we feel securely attached to someone, we believe they will be there for us during times of need.
• Emotional Safety: It provides emotional safety and a sense of belonging. Knowing that we have a reliable and caring person in our lives reduces anxiety and promotes mental well-being.
• Healthy Self-Image: Securely attached individuals tend to have a positive self-image. They feel worthy of love and acceptance, which contributes to overall confidence.
• Exploration and Learning: Feeling secure allows us to explore the world confidently. Just like a child ventures forth from a secure base, adults with secure attachments are more open to new experiences and learning.
• Empathy and Compassion: Securely attached people are better at understanding others’ emotions and expressing empathy. This fosters healthier relationships.

2. I See You. Acknowledgement.

When someone says, “I see you,” they are essentially saying, “I notice you. You exist, and I recognize your presence.” It is when a parent recognizes or accepts something. It refers to the simple act of acknowledging someone’s presence, efforts, or feelings. It can be verbal (like saying “thank you”) or non-verbal (a nod, smile, or eye contact).

Lack of this sentiment as a child can lead to feeling shy or craving recognition. When someone consistently goes unnoticed or unacknowledged, they may start feeling invisible because their efforts or presence seem insignificant.

Additionally, the absence of recognition can create a strong desire for acknowledgment, leading to a craving for validation and appreciation. Ask yourself the question, ‘why do I always feel bad’. Have you ever had the opportunity to shine and be seen?

5 Important Traits That Highlight Why Acknowledgment Matters for Children:

1. Boosts Self-Esteem: When children receive acknowledgment, it verifies and highlights their successes. It enables them to recognize their own abilities and qualities and that of others.
2. Encourages Independence: Acknowledging children’s individual efforts and growth, whether small or large, encourages them to be independent. Even acknowledging the tiniest steps of progress demonstrates that their efforts are seen.
3. Promotes a Growth Mindset: Acknowledgment pushes children to evaluate their efforts rather than just meeting adult standards. It assists them in understanding that putting effort and learning from errors.
4. Creates Emotional Safety: When adults acknowledge children, it creates a safe environment. Children experience visibility, validation, and a sense of worth, fostering stronger connections with their caregivers forming a secure attachment. N
5. Fosters Optimism and Resilience: Acknowledgment focuses on effort, motivating children to see trying hard as a positive trait. This perspective enables them to approach challenges understanding the significance of their efforts.

3. You Are Special To Me.

 The statement recognizes someone’s uniqueness and importance. When this sentiment is absent, a child may feel compelled to alter their behavior to gain love. This puts a child at risk of losing their true authentic selves.

5 Reasons Why it is Important for a Child to Feel Special to Their Parent:

1. Emotional Security: When a child feels cherished by their parent, it creates a sense of emotional security. They feel a sense of unconditional love which enables them to engage in a transparent relationship with their parents.
2. Healthy Relationships: Children who feel loved and accepted develop strong emotional foundations with an ability to adjust throughout life. They tend to form healthier relationships with others, including peers.
3. Self-Identity and Confidence: Feeling special contributes to a child’s accepting self-identity their thoughts, feelings and interests. they do not have to be anything other than themselves.
4. Learning and Development: Positive parent-child relationships enhance a child’s learning and exploration of their environment. development.
5. Neuroplasticity and Resilience: A child’s brain thrives in a loving environment. Feeling safe, seen, soothed, and secure increases neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to adapt and change.

4. I Respect You.

When someone says, “I respect you,” it acknowledges your worth and value. However, if this respect is absent as a child, it can result in feelings of unworthiness and a lack of self-respect and fear of being hurt. Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why am I scared of people’. Do you find yourself criticizing others.

5 Reasons Why it’s Crucial for a Child to Have Respect from Their Parents:

1. Development of Inner Voice: Children observe and learn how to respond to situations from those around them, and parents significantly influence the development of their inner voice.
2. Formation of Self-Image: When parents treat a child with respect, it lays the groundwork for a positive self-image and boosts their confidence.
3. Guidance for Values and Behavior: Respect helps shape a child’s internal compass, providing guidance as they navigate life and develop their values.
4. Reciprocal Respect: When children feel respected by their parents, they are more likely to extend that respect to others in their interactions.
5. Parental Satisfaction: Parents who model respect take pride in witnessing the person their child becomes.

5. I Love You.

‘I love you’ is a powerful expression that affirms affection and care. It signifies a parent’s deep emotional attachment and warmth toward the child.

When the expression of love is absent or missing with parents and children, it can result in feelings of being unlovable. Essentially, not receiving love can make a person doubt their own worthiness of love and affection. Do you tell someone you love them?

5 Reasons a Child Needs to Have Love Affirmed by Parents:

1. Emotional Security: When children feel loved by their parents, they develop feel a good cellular imprint, resulting in secure emotional foundations.
2. Healthy Relationships: Parental love serves as a model for healthy relationships, influencing how children interact with others and form connections throughout their lives.
3. Self-Esteem: Feeling loved and accepted enhances a child’s self-esteem, fostering belief in their worth and abilities.
4. Social Competence: Love from parents contributes to a child’s social competence, empathy, and understanding of emotions.
5. Academic Success: A nurturing home environment promotes better concentration, motivation, and cognitive development, ultimately leading to academic achievement.

6. Your Needs Are Important To Me.

This statement expresses that the speaker values and prioritizes the needs of the other person. It conveys care and consideration.

When the initial care and importance for someone’s needs are absent as a child, it can result in the perception that expressing needs is burdensome. Essentially, not feeling valued can make someone hesitate to share their needs.

You may find yourself not being able to ask for help and question ‘is it OK to ask for help?’. YES, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

5 reasons why parents need to care about their child’s needs:

1. Emotional Security: When parents understand their child’s needs and respond with affection, it creates an environment where the child feels safe to express their problems. As an adult they can understand that others need to express their problems as well.
2. Neuroplasticity and Adaptability: Feeling secure and acknowledged by parents enhances neuroplasticity—the brain’s capacity to change and adapt. A great preparation for the child to navigate future experiences.
3. Positive Relationships: It helps the child develop healthy bonds with their parents and later on their peers. Fostering the ability to help others meet their needs.
4. Positive Self Image: When children feel cared for, they cultivate a positive self-perception and gain confidence in their abilities.
5. Parental Impact: Parental attention plays a crucial role in shaping a child sustaining resilience and meeting their goals.

7. I Am Here For You.

When a parent assures you that they are there for you, it creates a sense of support and trust.

Lack of this assurance in childhood years can lead to feelings of loneliness and the belief that you must navigate life’s challenges entirely on your own. You may find it difficult to connect with others. You may also find yourself questioning ‘why do I lack empathy?’

5 reasons why a child needs to know that their parents are there for them:

1. Optimistic Perspective: Viewing your child positively, even amidst challenges, fosters trust and reinforces the idea that setbacks are transient.
2. Neuroplasticity and Security: Feeling supported by parents when facing difficulties enhances neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to adapt when difficulty arises. Coping skills can develop.
3. World Understanding: Parents support help children understand the world—whether it’s safe, who loves them, and how emotions work. This helps to understand how to react in different environments.
4. Foundations: Feeling supported by parents establishes a foundation of hope. The belief that something or someone could come through to help the matter at hand. They are not alone.
5. Insight: When parents have a distinct perspective on their child’s need for support in different areas of their development, an emphasis is given to individual tendencies, and desires based on their instincts and experiences.

8. I Will Keep You Safe.

Knowing that someone will protect you fosters a feeling of security and trust. Lack of this assurance can result in heightened anxiety, making the world seem like a dangerous place. This subconscious foundation could prompt a personal question ‘Why am I so scared all the time?’

5 reasons why a child needs to feel safe with their parents:

1. Connection: Feeling safe helps a child relax and connect on a deeper level to others and available environments. Children feel free to explore possibilities.
2. Authentic Expression: A child that feels secure in their environment feels free to express their authentic personal traits.
3. Balanced Perspective: Safety in the family environment ensures the child does not see the world as a dangerous place. The world can become their oyster.
4. Confidence: A secure upbringing helps children develop self-confidence and an ability to self-regulate. This assist with resilience to disruptive influences.
5. Education: Children learn best when they are in a safe environment. The are open to absorb new information rather than being distracted with worry about their wellbeing.

9. You Can Rest In Me

Offering a safe haven where you can be yourself without judgment is essential for emotional well-being. Lack of such a space may leave you feeling disconnected and unsure of how to connect with others or find a sense of home. You may find yourself asking “Why do I feel like I don’t belong anywhere?’

5 reasons why a child needs to know that they can rest in their parents:

1. Secure Attachment: A child will form secure attachments as they grow and experience an accepting and protected space.
2. Belonging: Somewhere or someone to rest with helps the development of connection and belonging. Feeling at home.
3. Unconditional Love: Helps the child understand that even when they don’t get everything right, they are safe this helps them to understand what it is to be human and accept themselves and others as they are.
4. Trust: Being able to rest in a parent develops a sense of trust in the family environment. It conveys safety and security to be comfortable with themselves.
5. Honesty: Resting and feeling safe to express yourself assists communicating honestly and offering transparency. It develops the ability to understand and put in words how you are feeling. It also develops trust that the response will be delivered in a supportive gesture.

10. I Delight In You.

When someone genuinely appreciates you, it boosts your self-worth and confidence. Lack of feeling valued can lead to the belief that you are a burden, unwanted by others. You may find yourself asking ‘Why do I feel like nobody likes me?’

5 reasons why a child needs to know that their parents delight in them:

1. Nurturing Joy: This produces the Oxytocin chemical which is activated with the feelings on gratitude and valuing life. It gives us stability.
2. Inner Child: Finding delight in others keeps our inner child and playfulness present in our lives. It helps us take life less seriously.
3. Comfort and Warmth: Finding genuine appreciation from others helps us appreciate ourselves. Content emotions cancels the need to consume more.
4. Healthy Memory Imprints: These are important foundations for the beginning of emotional patterns that release feel good vibrations.
5. Lifting Spirit: We have a clearer perspective, and the world holds more beauty and wonder. We soar to greater resonance and synchronize with higher vibration.

15 Effects if a Child Does Not Have Their Emotional Needs Met by a Parent.

1. Craving Validation: Always trying to impress and seek appreciation.
2. Insignificance: Their presence is unimportant, and the child does not feel valued.
3. Stop Trying: Efforts seem insignificant and the child lacks motivation to accomplish anything.
4. Purpose: The child may never find purpose, resulting in not actualizing their full potential.
5. Feeling Bad: The constant empty void can affect the child’s feelings and leave them in a low vibrational state. Do you ask the question ‘Why am I always feeling bad’?
6. Relationship Patterns: Fear of abandonment can lead to maladaptive relationship patterns. Individuals may attach quickly to avoid being left alone, but this can result in unhealthy dynamics.
7. Avoidance and Unhealthy Commitment: Some fear abandonment so intensely that they avoid commitment altogether. They may move on quickly to prevent emotional investment.
8. Self-Sabotage: Fear of abandonment can sabotage relationships. People may push others away, fearing eventual rejection.
9. Emotional Intimacy Challenges: Those with abandonment fears struggle with emotional intimacy. Trust issues hinder vulnerability.
10. Anxiety and Depression: Fear of abandonment often accompanies anxiety and depression. The constant worry about being left behind takes a toll on mental health.
11. Low Self-Esteem: Children who don’t feel valued by their parents may struggle with self-worth. The lack of recognition and affirmation can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
12. Emotional Dysregulation: Without emotional validation, children may find it challenging to manage their feelings effectively. They might suppress emotions or struggle to express them appropriately.
13. Increased Aggression and Violence: Feeling unimportant can lead to frustration and anger. Children who lack emotional support may exhibit aggressive behavior as a way to cope with their emotions.
14. Lower Academic Performance: When parents don’t prioritize their child’s emotional needs, it can impact their focus and motivation. Academic performance may suffer due to emotional distress.
15. Higher Risk of Substance Abuse: Children who feel unimportant may seek alternative ways to cope with their emotional pain. This vulnerability can make them more susceptible to substance abuse later in life.

Reprogramming limiting subconscious beliefs is liberating. Start Here.

10 Emotional Needs has been inspired by ‘An Emotionally Absent Mother’ by Jasmin Lee Cori